Smash Hits, 3 January - 16 January 1996
Think of the daftest questions in the world,
find a popstar and then do their heads in!
This issue, Kéllé from Eternal is...
MAD FOR IT!
What colour would the sky be if it wasn't blue?
It would be white. The sky is the purest form of being natural and white is pure, clean and fresh. It would definitely be white because it's untouched and unspoilt.
Orange is tangy, zesty, full of fun and goodness. It's healthy, fruitful, sweet and squeezy. Orange is a good colour, definitely.
What's Princess Di doing at the moment?
(With conviction) Di is standing up for what she believes in and I'm proud of her. I think she's showing a lot of strength by telling her side of things - it must be difficult standing up to the establishment.
What languages do aardvarks speak?
They speak gobbledygook. It's a fantastic language that is only understood by other aardvarks. So they could be totally slating you and you'd never know!
What's the first name on page 276 of the Norfolk phone book?
It's... er... let me see... a K... no, it's L for Louise. And it's her telephone number and her address so you better go and look for it quickly!
Why did the melon cross the road?
The what? (Laughs) Oh, he wanted to get to the other side because he saw a really, really, really juicy grapefruit that he wanted to get to know and ask out on a date.
What colour is Tuesday?
Lilac. It's a bit warm, warmer than Monday anyway, 'cos Monday's icy. Tuesday's got a bit more happiness to it; it's getting towards the weekend. (Weekend? Tuesday?) Well, at least it's on the way...
When you look in the mirror, is it your own reflection you see?
No it's not, because I'm usually plastered with make-up. And that's the only time I look in the mirror, ha ha! Nah, it's not me at all. I'm perfectly happy being me without all the make-up and the stage gear.
How does one sleep like a log?
When you've been working all day and you're knackered, you just flake out with your make-up on and your clothes still on. The you wake up in the morning and you look a mess - your eyelashes are stuck together and you're thinking, "Ooh noo!"
Where does Gail Tilsley get the jumpers she wears on Coronation
(Quick as a flash) She buys all her clothes from Georgio Armani. She's got fantastic taste in clothes, Gail. Yeah, Armani it is, plus some stuff from - oh, what's it called? - Evans Outsize.
How much does a large pack of Marks and Spencer's sausage rolls cost?
I love Marks and Spencer's but I don't love meat, so I don't ever buy sausage rolls. I don't have a clue.
Describe the word 'twang'.
(Giggles helplessly for five minutes) 'Twang' reminds me of one of my friends, actually. It's fun-loving, caring, full of life and with a great personality. Someone who just does things to make you laugh. Someone quite idiotic but loveable, I think.
Does money make the world go around?
Definitely not. Who needs money? Money is the root of all evil as far as I'm concerned. If a sparrow can survive in a tree without anything, it proves money isn't an important thing in life.
Why don't fruit machines have any fruit in them?
Because whoever built them was definitely a 'twang'. It would be nice to have an apple or an orange every time you won though.
Are diamonds forever?
No, not at all. Diamonds are materialistic and I'm not a materialistic person. If a diamond was given to me by someone I loved, then it would be important because it's from that person.
Why does alcohol make people act so stupidly?
(Obviously disapproving) I don't think it's actually alcohol that makes you act stupidly. I think it's the mentality of the people who want to abuse their body by drinking it in the first place.
What would you do if your hair stopped growing at its present length?
I wouldn't mind because it's exactly the length I want it and it's in good condition. I'd be quite happy and it would save me quite a bit of money at the hairdresser's.
Why do cows lie down when it's going to rain?
Because they want to roll about in the mud 'cos it'll get all squelchy and mucky and it would be good fun!
What would happen if clouds didn't float?
Aww! (With bags of enthusiasm) It would be fantastic because we could all jump about in them and use them as cars. It would be absolutely excellent, you'd be able to sleep while you're driving because they'd be so fluffy and comfortable.
Why are people called Barbara?
People are called Barbara because in their past lives they were murderers. Their mothers knew instinctively that they have to name their kids that. (Begins to panic) Oh no! People called Barbara are going to hate me. I didn't mean it!
Where is Never Never Land?
Never Never Land is next door to Bjork's house in Iceland. I met Bjork and she told me all about it. It's cold on the outside but it's lovely inside, with log fires and everything. And, strangely, the ice never melts. And that is why it's called Never Never Land!